Welcome to the Demented System™

 

🧠 Welcome to the Demented System™

A place where logic wears mismatched socks and common sense vacations in Bermuda.

• Monarchy Mania: Citizens proudly live under a glittering monarchy—because nothing screams "progress" like gold-trimmed family trees and ceremonial hats. These are not celebrities. These are fantasy figures, like animated statues that wave during national holidays.

• Taxonomy Bots: Meet the bots who scream “man!” at every male-shaped pixel and hum atrocious AI-generated dubstep while tagging images with labels like “human, maybe.” Blame Linux, that noble nerd beehive where social skills went to compile and die.

• Medical Prophecies: Your neighborhood doctor looks into your soul, via your pancreas, and announces you’ll live 73.2 years—based on hospital hallway voodoo and three reruns of Grey’s Anatomy. Accuracy optional. Compassion also sold separately.

• Digital Prostitution vs. Actual Progress: Want to regrow your eye or hand? Sorry, that budget’s been redirected to building virtual strip clubs in orbit using nano-amplifiers powered by discarded tech buzzwords. Who funds this? The same people who think $300 underwear empowers the working class.

• Telepresence Tragedy: "You are there in spirit," they say, while your actual body sobs in front of a laggy Zoom interface. Prophets predicted this—right after eating stale bread and inventing blockchain law degrees.

• Combinatorics & Bots: Expert panels discredit digital crime, mostly because it’s committed by their own bots wearing trench coats and fake mustaches at public parks, mumbling Latin and filing lawsuits against mirrors.

• Pre-Medieval High-Tech Society: You lost your organ donor card, but your local law enforcement offers medieval justice—with bonus cocaine addiction. Like Hogwarts meets RoboCop but with less charm and more unpaid overtime.

• Broadcasting Idiocy in Real Time: A country that can’t manage its bus schedule wants to host the apocalypse on cable TV. Everyone gets a remote. Nobody gets a clue. It's the WEB 2.0 dementia edition—curated by thinkers who haven’t thought since 1999.

• Goodbye Violence, Hello Idiot 3D: Let’s ban violent thoughts! Animals don’t rage. Weather doesn’t scream. Let’s build virtual worlds full of bubble wrap and motivational posters, where rage is a deprecated emotion.

• Finale: The Republic of Coupons A place where fascism comes with printable discount codes and ambition is measured in expired supermarket loyalty points.